The last couple of days have been increasingly harder to get through. I miss my boy. I miss his smile. I miss his laughter. I can look at certain photos of our time with him and hear the sounds he makes when he is excited.
Everyday lately, throughout the day, I find myself thinking about what life will be like when Wilson is home. Where he will sit at the table for meals. Where his car seat will be in the car. Which neighbors will readily accept him and which ones will take time to warm up. How he will swing on the swing set.
Wilson was somewhat close to walking when we were there. Will he be walking independently when we return?
When we gave him a teddy graham, he didn't know what to do with it. He almost choked trying to get it down. What will we feed him? Will he be closer to eating more solid foods?
As we sit around the dinner table, I wonder if he will like our food. Will he enjoy the things our children enjoy?
My kids love to run and ride bikes. How long until Wilson is running and riding right along beside them?
I miss him. It brings me to tears. I SO want to be traveling back to his region and hearing the judge grant the adoption. I want to travel to his orphanage and play with him while we wait out the 10 days after court. I want to cry happy tears when we walk out of the orphanage together for the last time.
I wonder if he will sleep well the first night with us.
I wonder how he will handle the REALLY long travel to his new home.
I wonder what his reaction will be to his new brothers and sisters.
I wonder if my family will love him as much as I do.
I wonder if he will change my life in such immeasurable ways that I won't ever remember a time without him.
I love him. Have I said that?
I do.
I love the boy with the beautiful blond hair and the biggest smile I've ever seen.
I can't wait to bring him home.
I miss him.
5 comments:
Oh Jaime,
Praying that God wraps his loving arms around you while you miss your sweet boy. I understand...it's so hard to wait. {{{HUGS}}}
~Amy Peterson
Thank you, Amy.
I love that you miss him so much and yearn to have him home with you. You have such a glorious heart to follow your Lord's commands that we care for the orphans and children. I'm so grateful you and Ginger reflect your Savior's heart in such loving ways. I will pray that you will focus on the joyful homecoming so your heart won't hurt so much. And I pray for Wilson, that God will guard and protect him until you are together again - forever. I love you.
Mom
Patience is so HARD to have when it's your son you are waiting for! Just hide yourself in the fact that God's timing is perfect and His will is best. Wilson is in His hands being protected for you. We continue praying.
Oh Jamie, I can't begin to imagine how you feel, as we haven't even met Danny yet and I have days I feel like that! God is doing a good work right now and while it's only one piece of paper to you, HE is working on another heart and teaching someone else about His orphans through you! Praying for discernment and that piece of paper!
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